By request...

This posting is for Cheryl, who was sweet enough to express an interest in my mundane life. In her honour, I am giving a snapshot of my day. Remember, you asked for it honey! ;)

6:50 am: Awaken slightly hung-over from drinking too much red wine the night before to the sounds of my 18-month-old son alternately chiming "Up?" in a hopeful little voice and whining when no one answers. I listen for approximately 5 minutes before I feel more sorry for him than I do for myself, and up I get.

7:10 am: I found myself standing in the kitchen, cooking fried eggs and toast for Nicholas, when I hear him behind me starting to cry. I turn around to see what is wrong, and notice that his pants are falling down. I kneel to hug him and pull up his pants, when I feel something sticky. "No!" I thought as increasing horror dawned on my tired and fuzzy brain. Yup. Your suspicions are correct. It was, indeed, feces. He'd managed to pull down his diaper. It was then that horror took a slight back seat to disgust when I noticed that it was also on his hand. And his shirt. And as I gently moved him backwards to further assess the damage, I noticed a lovely slug-like formation of runny snot crawling up his forehead and into his hair. Perfect.

7:15 am: Having managed to hose down my slimey son to an almost angelic state, I realized with exasperation that I had forgotten the eggs. I chucked them AND his burnt toast out into the yard for the crows (my neighbours LOVE me).

7:25 am: Finally sat Nicholas down for his breakfast. Couldn't bring myself to eat this soon after the hose down. Considered pouring myself a liquid breakfast of scotch, but thought better of it. Opted for powdered instant decaff with powdered creamer instead. Shudder.

8:00 am: Read Dora the Explorer and Little Star approximately 6 times. Watched the Beareinstein Bears once, Bob the Builder once, and Dora the Explorer twice. Had a brief moment of glowing gratitude and hope when my sleep ruffled husband dragged his sexy ass down the stairs at 9:00 am and I thought I was destined for a luxurious 2-hour nap. Felt like throwing what was left of my lukewarm watery decaff on his shaggy head when he disappeared back up the stairs after urinating. Nicholas, while in a time-out for pinching, decides to do some squirming around. I turned my head for one second and turned back just in time to see the mixed emotions of surprise and horror cross his little face before his skull bonked the hardwood. Spent the next minute comforting his wails. Moments later he stepped on the letter K (damn that pointy K!) and required that I hug him and kiss his toes before he stopped. Was utterly charmed when seconds later he kissed his toes and then bent over and kissed mine.

11:00 am: Sleep! At last! I take a cat under one arm, my body pillow under the other, and shouting instructions down the stairs to awaken me no later than 12:00 pm, I climb under my down duvet for a well deserved nap. Even baby wailing plaintively downstairs does not keep me from peaceful slumber. Ah!

12:20 pm: I awaken to my husband saying, "Hurry, we have 10 minutes." I had not showered. I had no makeup on. I was still groggy. Managed to throw on some semi-clean clothes, rake my fingers through my straggled hair, brush my teeth and throw on sunglasses and lip gloss before running out the door 10 minutes late. The baby had not even eaten his lunch. Contenders for parents of the year.

1:05 pm: Call our real estate agent to discover that he was waiting at the other exit to Bridgewater and had been for 15 minutes. Apologize profusely while waiting for husband to return from inside the Irving where he was getting the baby something to snack on and me a REAL coffee ('bout freakin' time!)

1:30 pm to 4:30 pm: Feed baby lunch of Ritz cheese-filled crackers and juice. Parents of the year for SURE. View three very different homes, all of which are ok, but none of which are quite there yet. I may change my mind about that though, as not much else is on the market. We are seeing 5 more this week, and if nothing else comes up we may have to consider one of today's 3.

5:00 pm: Watch in amusement and disgust as my starved child first refuses, then strews pureed string beans about the kitchen with wild abandon. Remove string beans and replace with a bowl of Kraft dinner with hamburger mixed in. Parents of the CENTURY. He won't eat the Kraft dinner, so ignore husband's horrified mutterings, I add a liberal coating of ketchup, and watch as he cleans the entire bowl.

5:30 pm: Sing and play The Wheels on the Bus, Ring Around the Rosie, and wrestle with my giggling son, until he pauses, PINCHES me while looking me straight in the face, and utters in a sweet little voice, "Ow Mama".

6:00 pm: Watch in amusement as Nicholas feeds the cats cat treats, hurling the morsels while yelling, "Frow!", but leap to intercept the Meow Mix treats when I realize that he has been popping the occasional savoury bit into his own mouth. Bleah!

6:30 pm: Read Dora the Explorer and Little Star yet another time, Elmo's World of Weather twice, Whose Who at the Zoo once, and watch Baby Einstein's Baby Noah once.

7:30 pm: Rock my child for several minutes in his room while he waves and exclaims "Bye Bye Pooh. Bye Bye Trrrrrrr (Tigger). Bye Bye Dada. Bye Bye Ssshhhhh (Fish). Bye Bye Plllbbbtttt (Horse Noise)." He then makes his own personal sign for "I want to go to bed now Mama" which is kissing his fist (his version of blowing a kiss). I lay him down in his crib, and cover him with his Elmo blankie. As I turn to exit his room, he pops up, hangs on to the side of the crib, and begins to cry, "Up! Up!" and wail. I blow him a kiss, tell him it is time for bed, and close his door. He cries, but is unconscious two minutes later when I check him.

7:31 pm: HAPPY HOUR!!! I have exactly 1 cup of red wine left. I pour half a cup of wine and a mixture of orange juice, lemonade, and fruit into a big glass of ice. Ahhhhh!

That is as far as my day has progressed thus far. I am now beginning to slur (two drinksh later). Sho I toast to you, my good friend Cheryl, for asking about me. I hope you enjoyed my blabbering. Love ya!

xoxoxo

7:30 pm:

Rick Mercer Cracks Me UP!

Need a good belly laugh?

http://www.cbc.ca/mercerreport/ and click on the University of Guelph link in the Top 5 Videos This Week.

If the bit about the pregnant cow doesn't make you pee your pants, well then I guess I will just have to eat my hat.

Also good for a giggle... http://rickmercer.blogspot.com/

Happy pants peeing!

:)

Update on the marital spat (for those who are interested)

Well, the day after I hid the old dangerous space heater, I bought DH a brand new one for $40. He told me that he didn't have a need for it as the coldest nights are now behind us and that I should return it and get my money back. I said, "Ok, great!" Then he added, "Just give me the old one back to use on the handful of nights that I find it cold." Um... NO. So I then asked for my straightening iron back. Of course his reply was no.

The funniest part is that my Mom came across it when she was looking for a pan (he'd hidden it at the back of a cupboard). So I used it a couple of times before he caught on. ;)

So now I have my iron back, and the weather is much warmer now, so DH is not upset that he can't use the old space heater (I returned the new one and got my money back - which I incidentally promptly spent on the most beautiful pair of new shoes!) Heh heh heh.

We are going to be buying a new house soon (refer to my last post for details), so no need for any space heater!

End of spat. :)

House Hunting

Despite the pink eye, new job, and all the stresses that go with a new job, we are house hunting. I love looking at houses. I scour MLS and all the local real estate sites, looking for potential homes.

The good news is that we found one that we are going to put a bid in on!

Wanna see it?

http://www.mls.ca/PropertyDetails.aspx?PropertyID=4459032

It needs some work, but mostly cosmetic. It is on a big 1.1 acre lot, is in a great location for us, and we are hopeful. However, this is all pending a clean inspection and so forth, so this is definitely subject to change.

Nevertheless, exciting to know that one way or another, we will finally have a place to call our own very soon!

:)

Pink eye!

My poor baby! He has pink eye in both eyes - they are swollen and red and filled with pus. The doctor claims that it is due to his cold spreading to his eyes when he rubs them. So we are doing polysporin around the clock.

Last week it was a very painful looking diaper rash that turned out to be a yeast infection that turned out to have occurred following his bout with antibiotics.

The week before that it was an allergic reaction to Sulfa drugs, prescribed for his ear infection.

The week before THAT, it was the ear infection which put him in the emergency room.

Three weeks before THAT it was his first ear infection, and one of his ear drums burst.

Let's not even mention the myriad of colds and flu he's had since he started daycare in September.

Poor baby. :(

Whew! What a week!

I started my new job on Monday, and so far I really like it. It sure was a hectic week though. But I am not bored, that is for sure!

We are house hunting, and it is very exciting. We saw a house last night that we are seriously considering putting a bid on. It has lots of potential, but it also needs some work. But I am already picturing us living there.

Nicholas is now 17 months, and we are having a lot of fun. He can say a lot of words:
Apple
Bubble
Ball
Balloon
Bath
Cat
Fish (ssschhhsssss)
Dog
Woof Woof
Ppppppppppp (his way of saying "horse")
Yellow
Flower
Shoes (ssschhhsssss)
Cheese (chhhsssss)
Up
All done
Thank you
Dora
Boots
Map
Backpack
Pooh
Tigger (trrrgggrrr)
Car
Pop Pop and Pa Pa
Mama
Dada
Toes

So just about 30 words. He loves dogs, and everywhere he sees one he yells "DOG! ARF! ARF!". He loves when he gets to pet them too.

He is also "all about" Dora (the Explorer), Boots, Backpack, and Map. Everytime the television gets turned on, he looks up hopefully and asks, "Dora?" We ended up going out to buy him a DVD because we felt so bad when he was disappointed that she wasn't on.

On the downside, he is biting other babies at daycare, and that is not cool. We are trying to break him of the habit with a, "No! No biting! Biting hurts ", and then putting him down alone on the floor. He bawls for a few seconds, but gets over it pretty quickly. The biting hasn't stopped yet though! (If anyone has any suggestions OTHER THAN biting him back, please drop me a line at simonmollybensam@hotmail.com.)

Well, that's all I have time for, as the baby is crying...

Why Meezer Meowma's Menagerie?

Before I was Mama to Nicholas, my sweet baby boy, I was "Meowma" to 4 furbabies, 3 of whom are siamese cats ("meezers"). I also have several fish tanks, one that is home to two huge 12-14" fish.

You never know... my next adoption may be another horse. I really miss riding.

Stupid Marital Spats

I think we should get an award for this one!

We live in an old house that is too small for us, not to mention too poorly insulated. We sleep on the top level of the house, where it can be very chilly in the evenings. DH's music "studio" is just off the bedroom in what is basically a crawl space. It can be VERY chilly in there.

DH's brother gave him a little space heater a few years back. This thing has seen better days, trust me. I look at it and all I see is a fire hazard. I love DH dearly... he is a wonderful father and a great husband. Everyone has their faults... I have many. One of DH's is that he is so busy that, well, he can forget things rather easily. I am the polar opposite... very organized. I constantly worry about him leaving the space heater unattended and one of the cats tipping it over and starting a fire. PLUS my Mom is coming to visit for a couple of nights, and she expressed a fear of that heater catching the house on fire. Like mother, like daughter.

So last night I decided to hide the heater until I can give it a proper burial. I honestly planned on buying a newer safer one for DH. The minute he went up to his studio to play, he came back down demanding to know where his heater was. I pretended not to know what he was talking about, but my guilty smirk ALWAYS gives me away. He was more outraged than I'd ever have imagined about this. He asked for it back several times, and I kept explaining why I don't trust it and why it needed to go. I explained my fear of Nicholas being trapped in a fire. He pooh-poohed all this (not that he isnt' concerned about the safety of his son - he just thought I was making a mountain out of a mole hill). He was angry because it was too cold upstairs to play guitar, and he was worried about his instruments. (Despite the fact that I don't think the temperature dropped much below 0 last night, and that area of the house is not completely devoid of heat.)

He finally told me that if I can hide appliances on him, he can do the same to me.

This morning when I woke up and was getting ready for work, I discovered my straightening iron missing.

So here I sit at work with rather nappy hair...

Stupid fight! The question is, which appliance will reappear first? The hazardous heater? Or the straightener?

Unfortunately, my bets are on the straightener.

Looks like I'd best get my ass to Canadian Tire and get a new space heater!

Time Outs

Nicholas is *just about* 17 months old (in two days). It would appear that the terrible twos have set in early.

Anatomy of a Tantrum:

1. Child is offended in some (usually innocent or incomprehensible) manner. (For example, deny child a (usually dangerous) object; OR hesitate for milliseconds before responding to child's request to be picked up; OR prevent child from waterskiing using a cat (pick a cat, any cat) as the motorboat.)
2. Child lowers himself to sitting position on floor.
3. Child carefully leans forward and bangs forehead on hardwood.
4. Child begins to howl in outrage.

Not only do we now have full-fledged tantrums, but we have some biting and pinching too. As a result, we started doing time outs. So far we've agreed on a few key behaviours that warrant a time out:
1. No hitting, biting, pinching, or scratching of people.
2. No hitting, biting, pinching, scratching, or tail pulling of cats.

The problem with time outs is that we don't really have much room, and we want to have a specific designated area to send him to get the point across. I am now on the lookout for a small wooden chair (preferably a rocker) that I can decorate and designate as the "time out" chair. Something like this (but without the hefty price tag):